What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

Apple hates Blackberry.

69

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

Stop driving smart cars you fags

why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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