What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

whats black and strange a paki

I have suicidal thoughts

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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