how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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RUN

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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69

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops