Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

thumb_up thumb_down -12

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -12

No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -14

where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops