In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Y u do dis?

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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