what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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* anti-punchline

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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hey hey apple

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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