What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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