-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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Poop...

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

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my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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