why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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Waffles ate my grandma

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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