One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Guess what i just did. Master bait.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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