Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Gun Control

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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what's brown and sticky A stick!

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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