What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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