What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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People Order Our Patties

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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