A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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Muslim athletes.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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