How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

boner

John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

why am I writing this...im bored

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

What happens when a black man is alone the KKK appears

what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

God

Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

uas;ugbasrG "khVESGF;OQWAEFH;OASEHFO;SAEFUASUusa;uefSOEHFSOEHDF;oasehf;oasehf;uoashvo;uasfo'H EF;owefhoaw;sefoasjefpiwaejf MINTY FRESGH

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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