- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

Sophie Cameron is Gay

A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

Knock Knock Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

Sophie Cameron is Gay

A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

Knock Knock Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

Sophie Cameron is Gay

A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock Knock Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.