A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Dear Chase. You are retarded Your jokes suck Violets are red jump off a bridge

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What color is red paint? Red

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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Misner is a twat.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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