Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Q: What do racists call a disgusting filthy monkey that savagely jumps around in the jungle and steals white chicks? A: The same as the rest, Donkey Kong.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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anti-joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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