Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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