I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

You tell me. I have amnesia.

whos district champs not JM

How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

Xzibit

if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

Do you speak alien? Hola.

Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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