What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

thumb_up thumb_down +33

This sentence is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you like your life? No. OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

irish wristwatch JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops