Your future.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -3

69

thumb_up thumb_down -3

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

an athiest walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

thumb_up thumb_down -5

name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops