Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a jew walks out of a furnace

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops