John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops