How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Tim and Eric

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you and your family will die tonight

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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69

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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God

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Pain Olympics.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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