A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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Knock, Knock ...

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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How can you tell if a joke is skept? Tell it to raysean and see if he laughs

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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