Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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