How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops