why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Justin Bieber

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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