What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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