Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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