i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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9/11 my birthday

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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