What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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