Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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