What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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