what looks like a banana? a penis

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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