A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops