Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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