im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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What's just not right? Left

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops