An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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