Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Guess what What

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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