Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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The child was fired from his job.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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