How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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