What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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