Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Neither have I

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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