PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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breasts

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops