What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Honk if you're Amish!

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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