Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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what do you call a young man? a little boy

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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