I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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