Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Your mam is so fat.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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Beka has AIDS

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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