How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

Asian women drivers...

What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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