Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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Trump will make America great again.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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