Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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THE GAME

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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