cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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