Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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What do u call a beaner when he stands up 4 foot nothing

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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hey justin

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops