What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +3

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +3

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops