Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Women's Rights

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops