- Anti Joke

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

women's rights

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops