The queen having a shit

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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