Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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France had one revolution

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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