Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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