Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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Well this is pointless.....

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops